May 2007
5 posts
2 tags
Cleanliness is next to ohgodliness
I was watching CSI earlier this evening, enjoying the wonder that is Grissom searching someone’s house for Suspicious Things, when he opens the recently stopped dishwasher. Inside he finds a battery-operated penile replacement friend. If you know what I mean, nudgenudgewinkwinksaynomore. While I’m sure we all appreciate this woman’s dedication to the cleanly arts, particularly...
April 2007
6 posts
2 tags
toxygen
These days, even the air will kill you.
1 tag
Tubular Bells
One morning, a few years back, I heard this terrific crash and thump in my bathroom. Being a curious sort, I figured I’d go look. The ceiling, the bit over the tub, wasn’t. It had come down into the tub. The blame can be laid entirely at the feet of the Leaky Plumbing Pixies, who’d established a leaky pipe above my tubal (no, not tubal; don’t think Mike Oldfield here)...
1 tag
Spring has sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder...
If April showers bring May flowers, how do we translate that when the April showers are snowflakes? Several mornings since this month began, I’ve woken to some kind of dusting of snow on the ground. I’ve nothing against snow, per se, but when the end of March approaches I set my heart on Spring, and in my universe Spring does not include snow. The last week or so of March, was warmer...
2 tags
succotrash
Ostensibly edible items that only masquerade as food.
2 tags
commemorandum
The notes you keep sticking all over the place to remind you of an upcoming event which you, regardless, forget anyhow.
